Shall I dig your grave?
by Shinigami's Soul
Summary: Trouble lurks at the colony when Duo finds a...very scary note in Heero's 'Relena' box. Will Duo survive? Or will Quatre 'Dig his grave?' once and for all? R&R!


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Author's Note: Uh, well, well, well. I personally love that quote 'Omae o korosu' so don't mind me if I use it a tad bit too much...Okay a lot. ^_~ Anyhow, don't mind that. Just read and review, please? Enjoy! ^_~

Shall I dig your grave?

Duo crawled into Heero's room. He tried to keep low in order for the korosu boy not to find him...I mean Heero. He rummaged through Heero's things, in search of who knows what! Something to embarrass him with. Ever since Heero sent those invitations all around town to celebrate Duo's never-was birthday, and they totally trashed up his apartment...it was time for revenge. So he was looking for something that would totally ruin him! Something that would totally finish him! Something that would send him to that special place that he belongs...Shinigami's world. Yes, anyhow. Duo stumbled across a box that had a pink heart around it. He gasped, _A heart? Who ever knew Heero even had one! _He opened the box and saw a bunch of pictures of someone's head. They had long light brown hair and...it was...Relena. _What the-! _"AAAAHH!!!" He dropped the box and ran for cover. Not bothering to notice a note still clung onto his boots as he ran. 

He slammed the door shut in his room and sighed. He collapsed on the bed and muttered, "Was that not the most horrifying thing I've ever seen?!" He then noticed the note on his boot. He picked it up. It said, WARNING! THIS CONTAINS...RELENA. "Good move." Duo sighed, and he placed the note down beside him. Then...he sat there. As he thought, _...Relena? Didn't he already kill her? I told him too, but he always talks about it and never actually does it! ...But...the note! I have to see what's inside! _He quickly reached for it. Then he stopped and grinned, "Safety gloves!" And he ran to get them.

Afterwards, He put on the gloves and picked up the letter. He opened it, ignoring the other sign that said, OMAE O KOROSU. "Isn't that what you always say? Yet you never succeed!" He opened the note and began to read it. It said,:  
_My dear Relena...  
I don't know why the heck I'm writing this note to you, when I don't even have the courage to give it to you! Ha, figures! There's me for ya! Never mind. _

"That's all!?!" Duo snapped. "...Hmm...if-...perfect."

Quatre then slipped in the room and grinned, "...Shall I dig your grave?"

"What?" Duo asked.

"Heero's looking for you." Quatre explained. "He said, Once I find that fool! I will kill him! Omae o korosu!...oh wait. I think he was talking to me. Later!" He ran out of the room.

"...I wonder, does he know about the note?" Duo asked himself.

Heero then stormed in and snapped, "Omae o korosu!"

"That's what you said at breakfast time this morning!" Duo sighed.

"Well, then...Omae o korosu now! Ha-ha!" Heero grinned. 

Duo walked out of the room and downstairs. He sat at a table and began to add on to the note. "Hmm...how about...:  
_My dear Relena...  
This is Heero. I am a wimp, a moron...but I love you...  
_Duo grinned, "My masterpiece!"

Heero followed Duo downstairs and snapped, "What? Where did you-"

"So you know about the note?" Duo asked, backing away.

Heero snatched the pen from Duo. He looked at it happily, "A futuristic...pen! Can I keep it?"

"Fine!" Duo raced out of the house, as the note fled from his hands.

Heero picked up the note and read it. He grumbled, "MAXWELL!!!"

Duo paused, turned around and grinned, nervously, as he snatched the note from Heero, "...thanks." And he raced out again.

"MAXWELL!!!" Heero hollered. He ran to the upper deck to get ready in his Gundam. "I will hunt Maxwell down until he is a little ant in a garden of blood!"

"What did you say about Maxwell?" Wufei asked sharpening his...his butter knife.

"Maxwell! He knows my secret! He's going to give that note to- oogh..." Heero shuddered. "If you're coming, then come! We will squash Maxwell." 

"Yes!" Wufei grinned. "For he is a weak fool, who needs to be punished...weakly." He ran to get his gundam as well. "We will head north-"

"Let me lead!" Heero began to control his gundam, as Wufei followed.

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Duo was still running through the forest, and it started to get dark...actually, there was a blimp flying overhead, so he had to make the best of this 'Blair Witch Project' thing. He ran and ran and breathed heavily, as a camera from out of nowhere began to film. "I'm...so scared right now. I have to find Relena....but I don't even know where I am and-...oh god! Is that a bear?! No, someone help!" He ran in the opposite direction, as the thought of he was running from his shadow. "Get away! Leave me a-" The blimp over heard passed by, and the sun shone through. Duo stopped running and sighed, disappointed. "Crud...Hey look, it's Relena!"

He ran up to her and sighed. "Relena, I have something to give to you from Heero." He was still looking down as he handed Relena the note. She took it and gasped.

She grinned and picked up Duo in her...fat, chubby arms? Duo looked up and gasped, "...You're not Relena!"

"Call me Shirley!" Shirley grinned as she squeezed Duo harder. "I might be no Relena, but I know a cutie when I see one, Heero! Marry me!"

Duo grumbled, trying to release himself from Shirley and grumbled, "HEERO!!!!! OMAE O KOROSU!!!"

It echoed through all of the Colony, the town and the forest. Even in the Gundams, it ringed from corner to corner. Wufei shook his head, trying to shake the sound, "...Maxwell's cry for help."

"No!" Heero whined. "No! He can't cry for help! We didn't even get a chance to torture him yet!! Ooooh, I'm gonna KILL whoever got to Maxwell first! Come on, Justice boy!"

Wufei grumbled, "Maxwell, you weakling! I will prove I am stronger, and you ARE a weak onna! You hear me MAXWELL!!!!!-"

"Wufei, shut up!" Heero snapped. And he began to advance in his Gundam.

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"Come here, sweetie!" Shirley grinned, chasing after Duo.

"You've got me all wrong!" Duo snapped. "I'm Duo, not Heero. I'm looking for someone named-"

"Duo!"

"Huh?" Duo looked around and saw Relena standing there. "Relena, die!"

"...E-Excuse me?" Relena gasped.

"I mean." Duo sighed. "Before you do, Heero sent you this note." He handed the note to Relena.

Relena took the note, "...Heero gave this to me?" She was about to open it when-

"Stop right there, you weak onna!" Wufei hollered, advancing in his gundam.

Relena and Duo looked at the gundam and gasped, "It's Justice Man!"

"Yes, tis I!" Wufei snapped. "Fear me!"

"Fear me, you fools!" Duo snapped back. "I'm Shinigami, after all!"

"Relena, Omae o korosu! Now drop the note, it means nothing!" Heero hollered. He then swung his sword at Duo and snapped, "Maxwell, you will die!"

Duo gawked. Quatre slipped behind Duo and grinned, "Shall I dig your grave?"

"What?" Duo looked at Quatre. "How'd you get here?"

"Who cares about that." Quatre replied. "Permission granted to dig your grave?"

"What?"

"Okay, would you like it under a tree, or beside Deathscythe?" Quatre asked.

Duo sighed, "I'm not going to die, Quatre!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, MAXWELL!!" Heero snapped.

Duo muttered, "Under a tree will be fine."

"Okay!" Quatre grinned, picking up a shovel and running off. "Your grave should be ready this afternoon!"

Duo sweat-dropped. He looked up, just in time to dodge Heero's attack, and Wufei's yells. "WEAKLING! WEAKLING!" Wufei yelled.

"Shut up, Wufei!" Heero snapped. "Now watch while I dispose of him! DIE SHINIGAMI-"

"Heero, did you know that makes no sense?" Wufei asked. "I mean...you can't say Die Shinigami! It's just like telling the God of Death...to die."

Heero sweat-dropped. "Shut up." He still kept attacking Duo.

Relena, who was just watching all this, remembered she was holding the letter that Heero didn't want her to see. She then grinned, then sighed. She opened the letter and read it. She gasped and hollered to Heero. "Heero! Heero! Heero! H-"

"Heero's busy, onna! He's trying to kill Maxwell!" Wufei hollered.

"Heero!" Relena grumbled. "Heero, Omae o korosu!"

Heero stopped, shocked. _...She knows my secret...I don't even think she knows what it means! But she said it properly so... _"Wufei, retreat!"

"What? Are you a weakling, too? Or are you a weak ONNA?" Wufei snapped.

Heeroo controlled his gundam so he could slap Wufei. "Now let's go!" And the 2 gundams ran off.

Relena smiled, "I'm glad..."

"He should've killed you too!" Duo sighed, breathing heavily. 

Quatre popped up from the ground, right in front of them, still holding the shovel. He looked around, "...Where are the gundams? Where are the suits come to drive you to your grave?"

"...they're gone." Duo sighed.

"GONE?" Quatre gasped, jumping out of the ground. He hollered at the gundams, "COME BACK HERE AND FINISH MAXWELL OFF! YOU...YOU...YOU WEAK ONNAS!"

Wufei twitched, "HE DARE CALL ME A WOMAN?!" He turned around and began to charge at Duo. Why? Because Quatre ran for cover. 

Heero hollered, "Wufei, come back here, before you're REALLY a weak onna!"

Wufei stopped in his tracks. He sighed, and turned around.

Quatre popped up again. "Oh come on! Wuss! Come back here and pound the stuffing out of Duo! He deserves it!"

"Hey!" Duo snapped. "I think I just got lucky the first time, but I'm leaving."

"But then...there won't be any purpose in saying 'Shall I dig your grave?' anymore, if you're not gonna die! Oh come on, can't you fake die! Fake to fall off a cliff!" Quatre begged. "Please!"

Duo sweat-dropped.

"Please!!" Quatre begged, tugging on to Duo's leg. "Please!"

"...Beat it, Raberba!" Duo snapped.

Quatre sniffed, "...I might be crushed...But I won't let go until you say YES!" He cried.

Duo swea-dropped again, as they walked back to the colony.

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Tell me how ya like it! Review, please? ^_~ 


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